Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

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• And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
• This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
• I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
• I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• If I throw a stick, will you leave?
• You!...Off my planet!
• Does your train of thought have a caboose?
• Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• An erection doesn't constitute personal growth.
• A PBS mind in an MTV world.
• Allow me to introduce my selves.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name the streets after them.
• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
• Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
• I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
• I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
• Do I look like a fucking people person?
• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
• A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
• Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
• Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
• Chaos, panic & disorder- my work here is done.
• I plead contemporary insanity.
• And which dwarf are you?
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• Meandering to a different drummer.
• I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

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