Pets at the Corporate Zoo

Copyright © 1998-2005 Ethan A. Winning


 

I've written about this before. I thought it was a stupid idea in 1997 when stories of AutoDesk allowing pets at work were found in every paper from The Wall Street Journal to the North Platte Sentinel. But there was no reason to say any more about it, let sleeping dogs lie so to speak, until this morning when I received the following email:

"We have had pets at work for the past eight months, and it seems to have made a lot of people happier. Even though I don't have one [a pet, I'm guessing], I haven't minded until today. I am the secretary to the Chief Financial Officer. She had a poodle, Sandy, that comes to work with her every day, but now she's asking me to take Sandy for walks at least twice a day and when Sandy gets rambunctious I'm the one who has to take him outside. It's too hot, and if she wants someone to dog sit, she can just leave him at home. How do I approach her and tell that entertaining Sandy isn't on my job description?"

Pets at work has been instituted as a "policy" for about a year, usually in high tech companies. For those of you thinking about instituting a "Bring a Pet to Work" program, here are some questions to ask yourself, questions that have all been asked of me in this past year:

Q. John brings his dog to work. Pam brings her cat. Susan now wants to bring her rabbit, and Paul has been seriously asking about bringing his pot bellied pig. Where does it stop?

A. When Joe's boa swallows Kristy's parakeet.

Q. Our company allows employees to bring in their pets. If any pet has two or more accidents, that pet is barred from being brought in again for 6 months. Is this a fair policy?

A. We don't usually find "Pets on Probation" policies, but no it isn't "fair." The employee should be put on probation...as well as whoever thought the policy up in the first place. I don't know where I got the idea that businesses exist to provide goods and services, make profits, and share the wealth if not the carpeting. Silly me.

Q. Our company has a policy of allowing dogs, cats and birds to be brought in. I'm allergic to cats, but the owner of the company says that I should get allergy shots. She even added that our insurance will pay for such shots. But there's a co-pay. Besides, shouldn't the company do something about the animals and not about me?

A. I think the owner should be shot. Aside from that, you are absolutely right. One of my clients who allows pets just installed a $2,800 filtration system and placed an allergic employee in a separate office as an accommodation to her allergies. Your company will have to do the same since your allergy may well come under ADA.

Q. I accepted the idea that we should allow our employees to bring in their pets. A couple of months ago, we set up a tentative policy and allow almost any animal in the office. So far, the dogs have been well trained, and the one cat that is here stays in her crate most of the day. The iguana, by the way, is the least troublesome. This morning, however, an employee brought in a puppy that she bought over the weekend. She said that she would be too concerned about its welfare if she left it at home. I say that she shouldn't have brought it in until it's house broken and trained in other ways. But I did set up the policy. What do I do now?

A. Change your policy. Only animals which need little care, have a certificate that they've been through training school, and create no other distractions can be brought in or remain on premises. (Completion of training school, as I well know, is no guarantee of a well-behaved animal.) Next, give this employee poor marks for "common sense" and take that into consideration on her next performance appraisal. You might also want to mark yourself down on "planning."

Tell the employee that she will have to either crate the dog until it is trained, or find a dog sitter while she's at work. If she is unwilling and quits over this, prepare to pay unemployment. (The dog would not be eligible.)

Q. In an attempt to keep our employees motivated, we have allowed them to bring their dogs and cats to work. Do you have any statistics on how well this works?

A. First, I think that you're confusing keeping employees motivated with keeping employees "happy." While happiness may be a warm puppy, I think that you can carry this to extremes. That said, I have no stats on how well this policy works. The upside is that employees don't have to worry about what their pets are doing at home. On the other hand, if they have to worry about what they are doing at home, I'd start worrying about what they'd do at work.

Being a dog nut myself, I fully understand the concerns about pets left at home while I go to work. On the other hand, being a dog nut also tells me that, if you're going to have to leave your pet at home for two-thirds of a week, maybe you shouldn't have a dog yet. Cats, as I understand it, can fend for themselves and can remain busy by using your new sofa as a scratching post. Those are not my concerns as an employer. I want you to be involved with your work, not thinking about what your pet is doing wherever s/he is. While articles abound on having pets at work, I think that they do abound because the idea is novel, not because it is good.

I may be in the minority (although I don't think so), but pets should remain at home and employees should concentrate on their work.