Last week on this site's bulletin board, someone asked how one becomes an HR manager. Some said to get accredited; others to get degreed; and two said to get experience by working for others. Except for the individual who recommended an online university "degree," I agree with most of my compatriots although, to be perfectly honest, I sometimes wonder if HR is the field to aspire to.
HR used to be more interesting, but that thought may be colored by the fact that this is an election year, and election years are notoriously boring when it comes to (generic) labor/work issues. No one wants to take a stand for fear of alienating either the worker or business. Of course, I don't understand that since those who are currently running our lives out of Washington have alienated most of us for the past three years. (Did I say three? I meant thirty.) Union membership is down to a paltry nine percent, and smaller businesses are not the recipients of any windfalls from Congress' tomfoolery.*
No matter what "side" you're on, it would appear that the days of meaningful legislation the like of Equal Pay Acts, Sherman Anti-Trust Act (whatever happened to ol' Sherm anyway?), Davis-Bacon, Equal Employment Opportunity, Age Discrimination Acts, or even those that drove and still drive us nuts like ADA are as scarce as an unpaved road in Sen. Byrd's West Virginia. Really.
Those of you who read these editorials know that I subscribe to various weekly and monthly publications that provide me with information regarding labor code changes, case law, and general new HR issues long before they hit most other media. Once again (see last year's list), I've collected the past five months' issues, concerns, points and puzzles. Here is that list. I apologize for the length, but you tell me if I've missed informing you of anything significant. Just for the hell of it, you might also want to check off those with the Duh factor. I have added the comments that popped into my head as I read either the headlines or the explanations.
-- Proposed FMLA regulatory revisions still on DOL's agenda (three years now)
-- Who is "qualified" under ADA discussed at NELI conference (Whoa, NELI! That rates a second mention.)
-- FMLA issues discussed at NELI ADA & FMLA Compliance Update
-- Employees seek improved benefits communications based on life stages, MetLife finds. (Surveys were dropped from a blimp.)
-- One-in-five workers create false reason for tardiness, survey finds. (That's what I meant by the "Duh" factor.)
-- Financial incentives alone unlikely to curb health care costs, Watson Wyatt says. (Death does a pretty good job.)
-- More than half of manufacturing, service employers plan to hire in May, says SHRM. (And did they? No.)-- Supreme Court considers whether hiring undocumented workers constitutes RICO violation. (My nanny is a racketeer.)
-- DOL issues semiannual agenda; FMLA still pending, union reporting rules a priority. (The agenda is to set an agenda, and to define "pending" which in this case is in its third year.)
-- Numbers of uninsured in moderate- and middle-income families on the rise. (Please define "moderate.")
-- 75 percent of workers report career burnout, says CareerBuilder.com (surveyed 485 people! Now there's statistical significance for you. 485 out of 131 million. Nobody asked me. How about you?)
-- Record high hiring expectations boost worker confidence, reveals Hudson survey (Yeah, right. And I thought I was getting a pony for Christmas in 1950.)-- Agreement revives Senate immigration debate (that lasted less than 24 hours)
-- Web-based pension plan administration system eases employer burden, Watson Wyatt experts say (wonder if WW has a vested interest?)
-- Two-thirds of large employers now offering incentives to improve employees' health (Ah, but does RJR promote non-smoking programs?)
-- Worker confidence in job security spikes, according to Right Management (Wrong Management found just the opposite)
-- Employment, earnings up in April; unemployment unchanged (Employment is up, but unemployment is unchanged. Hmmmmm.)
-- First quarter reveals significant drop in mass layoffs (Second quarter reveals there are no masses left.)-- President Bush addresses nation on his vision for comprehensive immigration reform (He's still having visions. That's not good. It's not that bad either. I once had a vision of Keith Richards which I sold on e-Bay ... to Keith Richards.)
-- Agreement revives Senate immigration debate (Another 24-hour revival)
-- Senate fails to advance small business health insurance bill (But not by much and that would have cost small employers like crazy. Having failed that, one Mass. senator decided to outlaw Flutternutter sandwiches - Aug. 20 - go ahead: Google it.)
-- Workers are content with compensation, but want more flexible schedules, Hudson survey reveals (Right. I like my pay, but I'd prefer not to work at all.)
-- Hewitt finds employers' efforts positively impact employees' 401(k) saving habits (Unfortunately, I have a 407(v) plan. It doesn't go into effect until 2031)
-- Consumer prices up nearly one percent in April (I had nothing to do with it. I didn't buy or sell anything.)
-- Real earnings up slightly in April (mine was so slight, it couldn't be seen from the side - like an Olsen twin.)-- Senate approves immigration bill (not including tip)
-- Immigration legislation will not change national language, Senate declares it to be English. (I would have though Legalese)
-- BLS reports on characteristics of minimum wage workers (They are 5 feet tall and weigh 140 pounds)
-- Vacation deprivation among American workers is at an all time high, survey finds (Do the survey during the summer)
-- Survey reveals 70% of U.S. employers fail to grasp legal training requirements (I thought grasping was against harassment laws)
-- Organizations are taking action to help employees deal with high fuel costs, reveals survey (They have posters telling employees to walk)
-- Number of mass layoffs up in April (They must have been waiting for the first quarter to be over. See above.)-- Supreme Court rules employee's speech made "pursuant to official duty" not protected (And they took away his whistle.)
-- Bush speaks on comprehensive immigration reform before U.S. Chamber of Commerce; Administration issues fact sheet. (This fact sheet actually came from Bed, Bath and Beyond, but had to be returned. Thread count was nonexistent.)
-- President signs combat pay bill (Surprise!)
-- Public employee unions react to Supreme Court ruling (They didn't like it.)
-- KEYGroup provides six steps for countering workplace stress, decreased productivity (Including massages, and six months off in Cabo)
-- Gas prices and slow summer hiring weaken worker confidence in May (I'm surprised there was any confidence left)-- H-1B visa cap reached, not available again until October 1, 2007 (Caps will be available with your team's logo in November.)
-- Final PBGC rule requires electronic submission of premium filings (Okay, you got me there)
-- Final rule requires federal sector unions to give members notice of their "bill of rights" (excluding whistleblowing)
-- Runzheimer study reveals trends in telecommuting programs (Interesting word: actually means thinking about commuting.)
-- One-in-four workers plan to work while on vacation, CareerBuilder.com survey finds (Just because you get email doesn't mean you're working. It sure doesn't mean you're productive. And if you're suffering from burnout as the group was last month, then it's your own fault. See April 2006 editorial.)
-- Unemployment unchanged in May (That's 'cause nobody tried.)-- President Bush continues to push for immigration reform (Still? I thought we solved that in the first paragraph)
-- Delay could ruin chance of passing immigration legislation, lawmakers say (Lawmakers say a lot of things. I'd like to see them actually DO something ... useful.)
-- Interim rule on electronic I-9 effective June 15, 2006 (Yeah, we're going to call the agency ICE and change it to an I-10. Actually, there is some news about this in the subscriber's section.)
-- Amendment to raise minimum wage unlikely to survive (That's okay. Most states are thirty percent above the federal standards anyway.)
-- OPM publishes interim veterans' preference rule (Still vanilla.)
-- Congressional Research Service issues report on taxation of foreign nationals (They're in favor.)
-- Consumer Price Index up half a percent in May (Not my fault. The only gas I got was at Denny's.)
-- Real earnings fall more than half a percent in May (Not my fault. All my real earnings were a figment of my imagination.)Disclaimer: Before going further, a disavowal (always an "i"). For all my griping, and even disgruntlement, the interpersonal relations of workers including the politicks - maybe especially the politicks, backstabbing, calumny, slander, libel, favoritism, malice, and deceitful support - fascinates me. [Quite seriously, I find the effects of constant mobility including the diminution of friendships, reluctance to establish close relationships, and a structure that lent itself to career paths with attendant promotions and knowing where one stood in an organization disturbing and a little sad. My kids and half if not three-quarters of those who come to me for consulting are going through something that is alien to me. For the most part, those were not my contemporaries' experiences.) Because "HR" did not exist when I was in college, this is exactly what we studied: the social psychology of employee relationships. It was called "Employee Relations" which did at times create some confusion since some universities used the phrase for union-management relations. Neither here nor there because our focus was what my company still focuses on:
- Auditing Employee Handbooks for Compliance
- Policy and Procedure and Management System Audits
- Tailoring Employee Handbooks to Meet the Compliance and Communication Needs of the Company
- Employee Disciplinary Problems, Progressive Discipline, and Counseling
- Advising on Terminations, Resignations, Severance Pay Issues
- Wage and Hour Issues including Overtime and Compensatory Time Off
- Staffing Analyses: Job Descriptions and Job Specifications. Employee Classifications under FLSA and state regulations
- Performance Evaluation Systems
I agree with Jill who responded to the question on the bulletin board. Even though tongue in cheek (which has no effect on typing but makes speech difficult), she's right. The HR manager has to be teacher, psychologist, nurse, a politician, and a referee. It helps to be a voyeur, but I believe that's illegal in Florida. And mark my words: when January of 2007 comes, there will be more legislation than any of us can deal with, meaningful legislation. We may or may not agree with it, but either way, we'll have to understand it and either implement it and instruct others in new policies and procedures, or we'll have to outsource it to attorneys, consultants (Hey, over here!) who can express themselves in plain English, or actuaries. I don't know what an actuary does. I don't know what an economist does. But any two professions that have lasted that long without anyone knowing why they exist deserve to be on a list of people to go to for assistance.
What does that leave us with? Understanding the new world order where people are having kids in their thirties and forties, and who have to take care of their parents, and who don't have a career path but do have aspirations, and who may - contrary to my previous guesses - telecommute because gas is too expensive and government has nothing about mass transit, and trying to give some structure to workplaces that need more structure yet where people have a cubicle personality and where Dilbert is fact and not at all funny.
I've often thought of retiring. In fact, I've been thinking about it since I was 40. But as Dr. Hank would say, "What would I do if I retired?" I'd be all alone out here where it's scary. Imagine being left alone with MY thoughts. Even Steven Wright doesn't understand me. I'd be left bereft of reason and loaded with the befuddled. I need the fuddled! The fuddled support me. Don't leave me.
*Tom Foolery was a real person, a senator back in '02. He has been indicted three times, termed the "Congressional hat trick" by lobbyists throughout the Beltway.